my statement

I do not accuse anybody of doing something wrong - keep that in mind - I just want to say how it looks from my point of view. I don't want anything to change, because I know it won't, no matter what I am doing. This is no problem for me, because problems are here to be solved and if there is no solvetion then it isn't a problem but a fact and facts are nothing bad. Facts are the only things that help us defining ourselfes and understanding our world.

So let's start with some facts without accusing somebody of doing something wrong. It was like this, beacause it had to be like this. Not right - Not wrong.
You lost me within the last 19 years. You lost the knowledge about who I am. You might think to know, but that's not true. You just know how I act in front of you. Not more. You believe in what you're hearing and seeing. You don't think about what I am when you don't see me and in fact you see me just for a fews minutes a day. So don't you think there is just a little more to know about me? But for you you it is now to late to get all this knowledge about me.

You ask me why I do not talk to you. That's because there is nothing to talk. My world and your world touching eachother nearly never. There is only this house that keeps our world together, but the fact that we are living in the same house doesn't make us equal.

I do not blame you for not caring about me. Thats not true. I don't think you are to stupid to understand me. I never said that, even if you always blame me to do so. The only thing I say is that we are completly different persons, with extremly different views and lifes. We can't understand eachother. There is nothing to talk about. If you ask me how my day was, do you exspect a very interessting answer? You know nearly nothing about my life outside this house - and most of my life happens there - what should I tell you? Do you exspect an answer like "Oh, today was a great day! I did .... and then ..... came to me and told me about ...... " You don't understand my work, my way of life, my decissions, my priorities and who I call a friend - don't get me wrong, not because you're stupid, but because the most things that are extremly importent for me, do not mean anything in your world.

I just want this to be said. This is no call for help. I don't want anything to change, because of this. The reason for me to tell you that is that I want you to understand that I am who I am, no matter who you think I am and I am proud of it.
If I do not stay where you are to talk, it is because there is nothing I can tell you. If you have to tell me something you can come to me every evening to tell me, but don't exspect a answer that's longer than 'yes' or 'no'. I don't do this because I do not like you, but there is no possibility for talking about things which aren't things I have to do or other organisation manners. For us talking about the good things in life isn't possible. What I take as a very importent part of my life, is nothing but a senseless waste of time in your world. I do not blame you for this. It is like it is. I can live with that. I don't think there is anything bad about it, but you do, right?

I have to disapoint you, there is nothing anyone can change about this. You live your life and I live mine. On this little point where these two worlds are touching each other you can take the lead and tell me to do whatever you want, but this won't bring you closer to me.